It’s so hard to remember that you’re a whole person when you’ve come out of a relationship. It’s amazing how much of ourselves we often compromise or set aside because we want to make room for another person and their hopes and desires and wants. No, it’s not always a bad thing to be that way, but when the relationship fails, and we’re on our own again, there’s a lot of… space… that needs refilling.

What’s a newly single gal/guy to do?

So many times you hear that a person should find something to focus on after a breakup that will help them get over it. Some people dive into their work, feeling like it’s going to make them feel better as a more accomplished and successful person. Others focus on their creativity, making things that take concentration like painting or sculpting or photography. Still others will take “extreme” measures to change their physical appearance, be it a drastic hair cut or coloring, or getting a tattoo, or deciding to finally rid themselves of the extra weight (or the weight they were carrying around in contentment).

I’ve found myself wanting to do so many things, to take my mind off the hurt and loneliness, and to fill the “time void” that’s there now that I’m not spending all my free time with someone. So I made a list of goals, all various things, that I want to accomplish for myself. (Yes, finding a good man to “love me back” is one of them.) But the coolest part about making all these goals is that it has actually reminded me that I really AM a great person, with a lot of things to offer the world, and it’s up to me to make sure I don’t lose those things about myself.

At the top of my list?

Losing the rest of this weight and getting myself into the good habits of a healthy individual. I’m still kicking the non-smoking thing, and I decided that since I’m saving money there, it’s best directed toward a gym membership at this point. So that’s starting this week. :)

I’m also going to work on time-management with work stuff. I have lots of projects going on that are “mine” and then there’s client stuff. I need to get the client stuff out of the way, and then really gear myself more toward my personal projects. I feel a lot more “fulfilled” when I’ve done something that’s mine, sometimes even more than when I’ve done something for a client.

Cooking more kind of goes along with the first thing on my list, but it also indirectly goes along with the second thing. By cooking more, and creating or trying more healthy recipes, I can share them here with you and that will fulfill a goal I have of continuing to help people. Killing two birds with one stone… my idea of success!

Deep, deep down inside, I’m a clean freak. I know I am. She’s in there, eating cookies with the skinny girl inside me. I’ve tried becoming a FLYbaby, but it’s all too much, so I’m going to work out my own routines.

I’ve also resolved myself to doing more stuff just for fun. Saturday I went to Six Flags New England with my godkids and their mom and a bunch of others, and let me tell you it was just the best thing ever. I didn’t crave a cigarette all day long, I hung out with my best friend (who I don’t get to see as much as I’d like to), got some sun, and rode roller coasters. It was great - I didn’t think about anything but hanging with them and having fun! I’ve decided that I’m going to set a goal to do something like that at least once a month.

How does it feel?

It feels REALLY good to have goals like this, I can’t stress it enough. It takes my mind off things that are painful, and directs it to things that are fulfilling and rewarding and wonderful. I’m feeling pretty good right now, and I’m excited to be able to say that for the first time in quite some time. :)

Popularity: 42% [?]