A couple details – Me and The Biggest Loser

Just a note for anyone who hasn’t been here before – I was a two-time semi-finalist for The Biggest Loser, for seasons 2 and 3. Before you continue reading, please know (and keep it in the forefront of your mind) that I harbor ZERO hard feelings toward NBC, 3Ball Productions, or any other entity related to The Biggest Loser. I still think I’d like to be on the show, especially after watching last night’s premiere episode!

The first time, at the first audition, after talking for a while the casting agent told me he didn’t think I was “big enough”. I got nervous that they were going to send me on my way so I dropped trou’ and lifted my shirt up, and then jiggled my stomach saying, “This is 252 pounds! How can you say I’m not big enough?!” He laughed hysterically and said, “Well, you sure have the personality for reality TV!” while the other, female casting agent nearly fell out of her chair. Hey, desperate times…

So I got a second audition (no doubt due in part to my showing two complete strangers my underwear – on tape). We sat in the hotel room with another video camera and I told them all about my history with growing up overweight. The name-calling, the time I tried to go on a ride at a theme park, and saving dignity refused to get off the ride even though I didn’t fit, and how it was the scariest 40 seconds of my life. The fact that I was (then) 27 years old, and what I call “terminally single” because none of the kinds of men I’d be interested in (no, not by physical appearance standards necessarily) were simply not attracted to a woman who was 100 pounds overweight. I cried A LOT, I laughed at some of the things he said to me, like, “Well I think you’re beautiful, really.” The female casting agent even told him to stop flirting with me. I didn’t even believe a word he’d said anyway.

A week or so later I got a phone call, I’d made it to the next round, and was one of twelve women “on the chopping block” (they were going to choose six). It was push time, and they were overnighting me a package with a contract. They gave me their account number so I could overnight it back, along with a minimum of 12 photos and my video. I did exactly as I was told.

I never heard back.

Fast forward a year, after having watched the season with a realllly bittersweet taste in my mouth, and I get a phone call from someone at 3Ball (the production company). They have a new producer and he saw my tapes from the year before and wanted me to interview on tape again, with his own personalized questions! Off I go to NYC for a 7am meeting.

New casting agents, and for some reason, I’m a lot less tearful-emotional, and a lot more angry-emotional. I mentioned how I had been so close last year, and that I really needed and deserved this chance. I didn’t get nasty about it, but I was rather more angry at myself that I didn’t lose the weight anyway, without the show. That I was still “terminally single”. That I had to admit that I really needed the help of the TBL team to get this done once and for all. I tried and failed. Miserably.

Again, I heard nothing.

Now, believe me, I know that MILLIONS have tried to get on the show. And to get as far as I did was a feat in and of itself. I’m not complaining that I wasn’t chosen by any means. I’m quite familiar with what “hearing nothing” means… I just wasn’t what they were looking for at the time they were looking at me. It comes with the territory of modeling and acting anyway.

But this, dear readers, is why TBL is so close to my heart. I didn’t submit myself for season 4, because I didn’t think I could deal with the heartbreak another year in a row, but I may submit for season 5.

Oh, and I think I’m in love with Bob. ;)